I was horrified when I came back from holiday in France and re-read an article I’d written in my Church newsletter for January.

It told the story of a man who realised that over the years he’d heard 3,000 sermons but didn’t remember a single one. Then he realised that his wife had cooked 30,000 meals in the same time but that he didn’t remember those, either. In the same way as we need regularl food, as Christians we need teaching and the encouragement that comes from being with other Christians. That’s why we come to Church, please come to Church.

Fair enough but the way I’d written it, it sounded like the rantings of a very irritated man trying to give people a row for not coming to church. It was curt, terse, brusque and verging on the sarcastic.

But in reality, I’d written it in a spirit of playfulness. It was meant to be lightly humorous but a bit incisive at the same time. It just didn’t come across in that way. Come to church or else!

We all need to be careful not only about what we say but about the way we say it, don’t we?

One of the exercises in French we had to do at College was to get somebody to close the window without saying, ‘Close the window!’ So you might say, ‘There’s a funny smell coming in from outside’ or ‘It’s a bit chilly in here, isn’t it?’ Or you might say, ‘For goodness sake! Do you think I’m made of money? Think about the heating bills!’ Or, ‘If you don’t shut that, I’m going to knock your block off!’ Or even, in a more conciliatory tone, ‘Do you mind if we close the window just a little?’

It’s the same in churches and in everyday life. Choice of words. Tone of voice. Posture. People pick up on all these things and we need to be alert because without realizing it we may be transmitting messages we don’t want to convey.

On the other hand, perhaps we need to be open to the idea that the other person didn’t really mean to upset us when they said such and such a thing.

‘Above all,’ says one of the apostles, ‘love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.’

That’s great advice for members of a Church seeking to grow together as a community. It’s great advice for families. For the workplace. For friendships.

In any case, if anybody listening is a member of my church and thought my article was rude, I’m sorry about that, but I’m not a mind reader, you know!